Human Shaped Constellation
by Goshikiii
Summary: Never had he felt more sympathy for a single soul than he did right now for this 'Iwa-chan'. Did he have to deal with this person on a daily basis? That's tragic. Maybe Koushi would track Iwa-chan down and send them a grief wreath or something. Probably not though. That would take more effort than he had right now. OiSuga


**Unknown**

 **[2:56]: Duz the sky no I luv it? *blows kiss at stars* 4 the alliens ( ˘ ³˘)**

 **[3:02]: wat if**

 **[3:02]: wat if**

 **[3:03]: wat if they dont believe in me iwa-channn?**

 **[3:05]: Will i ever be 1 of the stars? (˃̩̩̥ɷ˂̩̩̥)**

Sugawara Koushi stared at his phone at the infuriating hour of 3:10 in the goddamn morning. What the hell? Who is this person shit posting him at 3 in the morning? Who does this asshole think they are? Maybe if he didn't reply then they would stop texting and realize that he wasn't 'Iwa-chan' and Koushi could finally continue to sleep in peace.

 **Unknown**

 **[3:12]: WAT IF THEY DONT EXCEPT ME?!** **〣** **( ºΔº )** **〣**

 **[3:12]: WAT IF ITS BCUZ IM TOO BRIGHT?!**

 **[3:13]: BCUZ IM THE BRIGHTEST STAR IN THE GALAXY!**

 **[3:13]: NOT THE STUPID CANDY BAR ONE**

 **[3:13]: BECUZ THE ANDROMEDA ONE IS BIGGER**

 **[3:14]: ANDROMEDA STARRRRRRR! (** **๑•** **̀** **ㅂ•** **́)** **و✧**

Koushi wanted to cry. Is this his life now? Just endless suffering? It must be; he might as well just accept it now. He stuffed his phone under several pillows and rolled over, pulling his blankets over his head, hoping that would block out the incessant chiming. Koushi did not count on the perpetual buzzing as this stranger continued to blow up his phone. Maybe if he told this person off they, would finally stop? He pulled his phone out again and checked his messages once more.

 **Unknown**

 **[3:17]: Iwa-chan?**

 **[3:18]: R u awake?**

 **[3:18]: Iwa-chaaaaannnnn!**

 **[3:20]: What if god is 1 of us?**

 **[3:21]: How many dvds of the bee movie do u think i could i fit into a be hive?**

 **[3:22]: do u want me 2 send u a nude?**

 **[3:23]: If i were a dragon i think i would horde balls**

 **[3:26]: VOLLEYBALLS**

 **[3:26]: So crude Iwa-chan!**

 **[3:27]: how long have u been in love with me Iwa-chan?**

Never had he felt more sympathy for a single soul than he did right now for this 'Iwa-chan'. Did he have to deal with this person on a daily basis? That's tragic. Maybe Koushi would track Iwa-chan down and send them a grief wreath or something. Probably not though. That would take more effort than he had right now.

It had been a few minutes and his phone hadn't gone off again. Maybe the person on the other end had finally gone to bed. Of course, Koushi didn't have that kind of luck because seconds after he locked his phone again, it chimed again. Propelled with an anger that only 3 hours of fitful sleep could give a person, Koushi grabbed his phone and irritably swiped the screen to unlock it.

 **Unknown**

 **[3:40]: i thik ibroke my knee again**

"Oh my god oh my god oh my god," Koushi muttered over and over as he hurried to type out a response. A three AM anger-fuelled panic attack is _not_ what he needed right now.

 **Koushi**

 **[3:41]: omg are you okay?**

 **Unknown**

 **[3:42]: Iwa-chan! ⸂⸂⸜(** **ര** **ᴗ** **ര๑** **)⸝⸃⸃**

 **[3:42]: i new youd answer to that!**

"Son of a bitch…! Who the fuck?" His grip on his phone tightened as Koushi stared down at the cheeky message. His thumbs flew over the screen, hashing out a scolding response.

 **Koushi**

 **[3:44]: Listen here! I don't know who this Iwa-chan is but I feel really sorry for them right now. You text me at 3 in the goddamn morning for almost an hour and then you do that shit?! If you had broken it right now you probably deserved it! And what do you mean again?**

 **[3:45]: Also who just mass texts their friends like this at 3 in the morning like an asshole? Honestly!**

 **Unknown**

 **[3:46]: rood.**

 **[3:46]: ill have you kno**

 **[3:46]: that iwa-chan loves my 3am txts**

 **Koushi**

 **[3:47]: ill show you rude**

 **[3:47]:** **凸** **(⊙▂⊙✖ )**

 **[3:48]: Go the fuck to sleep**

 **Unknown**

 **[3:48]: U wound me stranger-chan! (ˊ̥̥̥̥̥ ³ ˋ̥̥̥̥̥)**

 **[3:48]: Im just a lonely boi trying to talk to his friend only to find out hes been tricked!**

 **Koushi**

 **[3:49]: I NEVER SAID I WAS IWA-CHAN!**

 **[3:49]: Maybe iwa-chan gave you the wrong number to set you loose on some poor unsuspecting stranger because youre like this?**

 **[3:50]: I just want to sleep!**

 **Unknown**

 **[3:50]: Lies!**

 **[3:50]: Iwa-chan would never do that!**

 **[3:50]: He luvs me!** **૮** **(** **ꂧꁞꂧ** **)ა**

 **[3:51]: Well see whos right in the end!**

 **[3:51]: Ill ask him when I see him in class!**

 **[3:52]: And then ill rub it in ur face when im right!**

 **[3:52]: talk to you later stranger-chan~!** **ﾐ** **(o*** **･** **ω** **･** **)** **ﾉ**

 **Koushi**

 **[3:53]: No thats okay you dont have to..**

Heaving a great sigh, Koushi finally locked his phone again and once again made to go to sleep, this time thankfully undisturbed. Why did he have a bad feeling about this? The tired 22 year old tossed and turned for another hour before he managed to get back to sleep.

Koushi woke up once more around 10 to knocking at his door. "Suga, I'm making breakfast before I leave. Do you want any?" Came the familiar baritone of one of his roommates, Azumane Asahi. Koushi groaned into a pillow. Five hours was not enough sleep for him. "No thanks," He managed out. The pale haired man sighed and propped himself up. He sighed again, knowing that he wouldn't get anymore sleep anytime soon. Koushi threw on an oversized sweater and padded out of his room, shoving his phone into the front pocket.

He'd been sighing a lot these days, Koushi realized. Probably from the stress of job hunting. The constant rejection of every application wearing him down. Despite having a good record of working at the same place for near on 6 years, no one wanted to hire an employee who was known to be flaky at showing up in the end, regardless of the slack they pulled or how good their work was. But Koushi was trying to hurry to find a job before he ran out of money to pay for rent and had to move back in with his parents.

As soon as he opened the door, Koushi's nose was assaulted with the smell of Asahi's cooking. It smelled delicious as always. Sneaking up behind him, Koushi gave Asahi a playful jab in the side, successfully startling the unsuspecting man and distracting him as Koushi snuck a piece of bacon from the plate that sat next to the stove.

"Suga!" Asahi cried as he fumbled with not dropping the fork he was using. Koushi snickered as he waltzed over to the table and plopped onto a chair. "Why do you always do this to me?" his roommate accused, hesitantly turning back to the bacon. "Why do you always scare so easy?" Suga fired back.

Asahi grumbled unhappily at that anser.

Finishing out his bacon, Koushi looked about the kitchen, "Where's Daichi? He doesn't have morning classes today does he?"

"No, but he figured he could use the time to be productive or something and went for a jog and then train."

"Typical Daichi."

"Typical Daichi." agreed Asahi. "By the way, Suga. What was up with your phone going off last night? The walls aren't exactly thick."

"Some wrong number texter was harassing me. Thought I was a friend of their's." Suga groaned, remembering the conversation.

It was a few hours after Asahi had left for his job and Koushi was holed up in his room again. Filling out more job applications. Sighing every few minutes. After he finished this one he would take a break.

 _Ping_.

Submitting the application first, Koushi picked up his phone. As soon as he saw the number he winced.

 **Unknown**

 **[14:49]: Yahoo~**

 **[14:49]: Stranger-channn~~** **ﾟ** **.+:** **｡** **(≧∇≦)** **ﾉﾟ** **.+:** **｡**

 **Koushi**

 **[14:50]: Nooooooooooooo**

 **[14:50]: What did i do to deserve this?**

 **[14:51]: _:(´** **ཀ** **」 ∠** **):_ …**

 **Shit Poster**

 **[14:52]: RUDE!**

 **[14:52]: I came here to grace you with my presence and brighten your day**

 **[14:53]: And this is how you treat me?**

 **[14:53]: Im wounded!**

 **Koushi**

 **[14:54]: The only thing youre gracing me with it a headache**

 **Shit Poster**

 **[14:55]: Mean!**

 **[14:55]: But!**

 **[14:55]: But!**

 **[14:56]: I talked to Iwa-chan this morning**

 **[14:56]: Apparently he mixed up a couple of numbers since he hasnt memorized his new number yet**

 **[14:57]: Lol!**

 **Koushi**

 **[14:58]: Oh**

 **[14:58]: Well mystery solved i guess**

 **[14:59]: Tell him that i expect an apology for those 3am texts then**

 **Shit Poster**

 **[15:00]: He already apologized and said i probs shouldnt text you again**

 **[15:01]: But then i figured that you would miss my sparkling personality**

 **[15:01]:** **٩** **(** **๑** **ơ** **ల** **ơ)** **۶**

Koushi couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. As much as this stranger annoyed him, the amount of narcissism that radiated from the messages was funny. Plus, it was kind of nice talking to someone new after years of talking to the same handful of people.

 **Koushi**

 **[15:03]: Weirdo**

 **[15:03]: Lol**

 **[15:04]: I have somethings to take care of so im turning my phone off**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:05]: DONT LEAVE ME STRANGER-CHAN**

 **[15:05]: I STILL HAVE LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF UNTIL MY LAST CLASS**

 **[15:05]: IWA-CHAN IS IN CLASS AND WONT ANSWER MY TEXTS AGAIN**

 **[15:06]: HE DOESNT GET OUT FOR ANOTHER 45 MINUTES AND IM LONELY PLEASE KEEP ME COMPANY**

 **[15:06]:** **٩** **(⌯** **ິ** **̆ᵔ** **ິ** **)** **۶** **ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ**

 **[15:06]:** **٩** **(⌯** **ິ** **̆ᵔ** **ິ** **)** **۶** **ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ**

 **[15:06]:** **٩** **(⌯** **ິ** **̆ᵔ** **ິ** **)** **۶** **ᵒᵐᵍᵎᵎᵎ**

The next 10 messages after that were just the emoji being spammed.

 **Koushi**

 **[15:09]: OKAY**

 **[15:10]: FINE**

 **[15:10]: JUST STOP SPAMMING ME WITH THAT FACE**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:11]: YAAAY~~**

 **[15:11]:** **٩** **(** **๑** **˃́** **ꇴ** **˂̀** **๑** **)** **۶**

 **[15:11]:** **٩** **(** **๑** **˃́** **ꇴ** **˂̀** **๑** **)** **۶**

 **[15:12]:** **٩** **(** **๑** **˃́** **ꇴ** **˂̀** **๑** **)** **۶**

 **[15:12]:** **٩** **(** **๑** **˃́** **ꇴ** **˂̀** **๑** **)** **۶**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:13]: Okay bye**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:14]: NO WAIT**

 **[15:14]: IM SORRY**

 **[15:14]: IM DONE NOW I PROMISE**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:16]:** **๛∙᷅** **ॄ∙᷄**

 **[15:16]: Are you sure there Narcy?**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:18]: ?**

 **[15:18]: Narcy?**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:20]: You are literally Narcissus who fell in love with his own reflection**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:21]: Why Stranger-chan**

 **[15:21]: Are you calling me beautiful?**

 **[15:22]: Flatterer! (** **｡￫** **ˇ** **艸￩** **)**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:23]: Why are you like this?**

 **[15:23]: Also stop calling me Stranger-chan**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:25]: Teehee~**

 **[15:25]: But Stranger-chan**

 **[15:25]: What else am I Supposed to call you?**

 **[15:26]: It is nice being flattered for once**

 **[15:26]: Refreshing!**

 **[15:26]: Maybe ill call you Refreshing-kun!**

 **[15:27]: (** **｡•** **̀ᴗ-)✧**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:28]: No thanks.**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:29]: So Refreshing-kun!**

 **[15:29]: Tell me about yourself**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:30]: Well recently ive been harassed by this person through text**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:31]: Oh no!**

 **[15:31]: Why would someone do that to you?**

 **[15:32]: Do you want me to help you track them down with my alien technology?**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:33]: What? Alien technology?**

 **[15:33]: What?**

 **Narcissus Incarnate**

 **[15:34]: Dont you know Refreshing-kun?!**

 **[15:34]: Theyre oUT THERE!**

 **[15:34]: ALIENS ARE REAL**

 **[15:37]: With how big our galaxy alone is, let alone space as a whole, the possibility of aliens being out there isn't that outrageous at all if you think about it. Thinking that our planet is the only habitable one out there is laughable. Maybe they don't require the same living conditions as us. In that vein of thinking then any planet is livable. Recent space travel and research has shown us that there are even several planets out there besides this one that are habitable for us. So therefore there could be other planets out there that are livable to many different types of aliens. And boiling it down even further we ourselves would be aliens to other lifeforms out there.**

 **[15:43]: Narrowing down research to our planet alone recent studies have shown that ancient civilizations around the world have made large flat platforms. Landing pads if you will for space crafts. How did all of these civilizations somehow make the same thing? Its impossible for most of them to even meet to communicate about these kinds of things! Ancient texts have even been found saying that great shining avian creatures would descend from the sky, landing on these platforms, bringing with them humanoid creatures who would teach things to the people and then they would return to the sky. Not only that but theres been structures that have been found made of large slabs of stone. Too large to actually move with any kind of equipment that they would have had in that era. How would they have built them?**

 **[15:43]: If you really think about it its not really that crazy Refreshing-kun!**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:44]: ….**

 **[15:44]: Was that from an Ancient Aliens episode?**

 **Alien Narcissus**

 **[15:45]: ...only some of it**

 **[15:45]: Refreshing-kun do you watch it too?!**

 **[15:45]: We should watch it together!**

 **[15:46]: Oh! Looks like its time for Iwa-chans class to let out**

 **[15:46]: Thanks for keeping me company!**

 **[15:47]: Have fun taking care of things~~**

 **Koushi**

 **[15:47]: Thanks?**

 **[15:47]: Tell Iwa-chan that i said hi**

Four applications, 1 energy drink, 3 cups of coffee and countless granola bars later, Koushi considered himself done. There was no way he could look at another application with redundant questions again. There were only so many way s that someone could ask if you did drugs or embezzled money from your last workplace, and somehow they managed to put all of them in there.

He needed a break. Maybe a drink.

 _Ping_

Koushi groaned. Please don't be Narcissus…

 _ **Group Chat**_

 **Dadchi**

 **[19:36]: Kuroo kidnapped me and some of our other teammates for preparation for some kind of impromptu game night for Saturday. Going to be late.**

 **[19:37]: He says we are playing something called DND?**

 **Cinna-Bun**

 **[19:38]: Have fun.**

 **Koushi**

 **[19:38]: LOL I didnt know that he was the type of person that played those kind of tabletops?**

 **Dadchi**

 **[19:40]: What are tabletops?**

 **Koushi**

 **[19:41]: Omg Daichi youre such an old man lol!**

 **[19:41]: Tabletop games! Hes making you play Dungeons and Dragons! Its a RPG where you create characters, go on adventures and maybe get laid once in a while.**

 **[19:42]: So hey! You might get some Daichi! (*** **・∀** **-)**

 **Dadchi**

 **[19:44]: Is this really a game?**

 **Kouchi**

 **[19:45]: Nope. Its actual life. Kuroos going to get you laid. When you get to his apartment just say thank you and dont explain anything.**

 **Dadchi**

 **[19:47]: Okay?**

 **Cinna-Bun**

 **[19:48]: You shouldn't tease Daichi like that Suga. He might actually do that.**

 **Koushi**

 **[19:49]: Lololololol**

 **Cinna-Bun**

 **[19:50]: It's just a paper and pencil probability roleplay game that uses dice to decided outcomes. You'll be fine Daichi.**

 **Koushi**

 **[19:51]: #LetDaichiGetLaid2k18**

Neither of them responded after that.

 **Alien Narcissus**

 **[23:44]: Did u no that Stonehenge is said to be a somewhat healing place?**

 **[23:44]: Its becuz of the stones in the outter and inner circle stones being made out of quartz!**

 **[23:45]:Theres so many theories about Stonehenge! It might be a calendar or a replica of the solar system or a tool to predict intense meteor showers!**

 **[23:45]: Isnt that so cool?!**

 **[23:45]: (╯✧∇✧)╯**

 **Koushi**

 **[23:46]: Are you watching Ancient Aliens again?**

 **[23:46]: Do you know anything about places that don't involve aliens?**

 **Alien Narcissus**

 **[23:47]: of course i do!**

 **[23:47]: I no about places in America!**

 **[23:47]: Like Roswell and Area 51**

 **Koushi**

 **[23:49]: That's still aliens!**

 **[23:49]: I'm going to bed…**

 **Alien Narcissus**

 **[23:50]: Wait! I haven't gotten to the other megaliths yet!**

 **Koushi**

 **[23:51]: Good night**

That night Koushi decided to actually turn off his phone for once.

* * *

 _ **I re wrote so much of this as fast as I was writing this. I don't really have a specific direction I'm going with this since I don't usually plan out anything when I wrote. But I did end up writing out the game night scene at Kuroo's a head of time. But like the reason I wrote this was largely because I'm so fucking weak for wrong number AUs and I can't find a lot of them, so why not write my own? Also the fact that I made a playlist inspired by this specific trope, which the title of this is from a song in it. You can find it on Spotify or YouTube under "New Phone, Who Dis?" if you want to listen to it.  
**_ _ **Also if Suga sounds a little ooc it's probably because I'm projecting heavily onto him, so sorry about that.**_  
 _ **And of course, the normal disclaimers. I don't own any of the characters, Haikyuu!, Ancient Aliens or the song the I got the title from.**_


End file.
